Introduction
Life throws curveballs. We all have those moments where we’re like, “Ugh, why me?” But what if there was a way to bounce back stronger? Psychotherapist Amy Morin went through some serious stuff and wrote down 13 habits mentally strong people avoid. Her blog post went viral, turned into a book, Here is summary of this book
1. Ditch the Pity Party (Self-Pity vs. Gratitude):
Ever see someone overreact to a small inconvenience? Like, they spill their coffee and act like the world’s ending? That’s self-pity. It’s like constantly complaining and focusing on the negative. Mentally strong people flip the script and practice gratitude. Instead of dwelling on what went wrong, they appreciate what’s going right.
- Pro Tip: Keep a gratitude journal. Write down one thing you’re grateful for every day. It’s a vibe shift, trust.
2. Don’t Let Others Live Rent-Free in Your Head (Holding onto Power and Forgiveness):
Ever have someone who just gets under your skin? Maybe they’re constantly criticizing you or trying to control you. Mentally strong people don’t let others have that power. They set boundaries. It’s about taking back control of your own feelings and actions.
- Example: If your fam is always giving unwanted advice, have a chill convo and set some boundaries. It’s your life, you make the rules.
3. Embrace the Plot Twists (Embracing Change):
Change is inevitable. It’s gonna happen whether you like it or not. Mentally strong people don’t freak out about change; they adapt. They break down big goals into smaller, more manageable steps.
- Example: Wanna get fit? Don’t try to become a gym bro overnight. Start with small changes, like walking for 30 minutes a few times a week. It’s all about baby steps.
4. Control What You Can, Let Go of the Rest (Controlling the Controllable):
You can’t control everything. The weather, other people’s actions, unexpected events—they’re all out of your hands. Mentally strong people focus on what they can control: their own reactions and efforts. Don’t waste energy stressing about things you can’t change.
- Real Talk: You can’t force your crush to like you back. Focus on being your best self instead.
5. It’s Okay to Say “No” (Balancing Your Needs with Others’):
People-pleasing is a trap. You can’t make everyone happy all the time. Mentally strong people know how to say “no” without feeling guilty. It’s about prioritizing your own needs and setting healthy boundaries.
- Life Hack: When someone asks you for a favor, don’t immediately say yes. Say something like, “Let me check my schedule and get back to you.” This gives you time to think about it.
6. Calculated Risks, Not Blind Leaps (Taking Calculated Risks):
Taking risks can be scary, but it’s also how we grow. Mentally strong people don’t avoid risks altogether; they take calculated risks. They weigh the pros and cons, assess the potential downsides, and make informed decisions.
- Think Before You Leap: Don’t quit your job to become a professional gamer without a solid plan. Do your research, practice, and build a following first.
7. Learn from the Past, Don’t Live in It (Coming to Terms with the Past):
The past is the past. You can’t change it. Mentally strong people accept their past, learn from their mistakes, and move on. Don’t dwell on regrets or “what ifs.”
- It’s a Process: Forgiveness, both of others and yourself, is key to moving forward.
8. Don’t Repeat the Same Mistakes (Avoiding Repeating Mistakes):
Making mistakes is part of being human. But mentally strong people learn from their mistakes and avoid repeating them. They reflect on what went wrong and figure out how to do better next time.
- Self-Reflection is Key: Ask yourself: What did I learn from this? What can I do differently next time?
9. Collaboration Over Competition (Avoiding Envy):
Envy is a toxic emotion. It makes you focus on what others have instead of what you have. Mentally strong people celebrate other people’s successes and even seek to collaborate with them.
- Good Vibes Only: Instead of being jealous of your friend’s new car, ask them about it and learn from their success.
10. Keep Going, Even When It’s Tough (Perseverance and Self-Compassion):
Things won’t always go your way. You’ll face setbacks and failures. Mentally strong people persevere. They don’t give up easily, and they’re kind to themselves when things get tough.
- Be Your Own Cheerleader: Treat yourself with the same kindness and understanding you’d offer a friend.
11. Embrace Some Alone Time (Comfort with Being Alone):
Being alone doesn’t mean being lonely. Mentally strong people value solitude. They use alone time to recharge, reflect, and connect with themselves.
- Me Time is Important: Schedule some time for yourself to do things you enjoy, like reading, meditating, or just chilling.
12. Give More Than You Take (Avoiding Entitlement):
No one owes you anything. Mentally strong people focus on giving back and contributing to the world. They don’t have a sense of entitlement.
- Check Your Attitude: Are you constantly expecting things from others? Try focusing on what you can offer instead.
13. Progress Takes Time (Long-Term Commitment):
Big goals don’t happen overnight. Mentally strong people are patient and committed to the long haul. They understand that progress takes time and effort.
- Don’t Get Discouraged: Keep working towards your goals, even if you don’t see results immediately.
Conclusion:
Building mental strength is a journey, not a destination. By avoiding these 13 habits and focusing on positive mindsets and behaviors, you can level up your mental game and navigate life’s challenges with more confidence and resilience. Remember, it’s all about progress, not perfection.
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